Resource Guide: Stolen Colors
by Khushboo patel
Illustrated by tara anand
Guide by Sarah Joyner, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW-S)
A powerful and sensitive story about body safety and consent that every family needs.
Shreya loves to paint. Her world is filled with bright, bold colors as lively as she is. Even her art teacher, Mr. Rao, thinks her work is "marvelous." But when he asks to paint her during recess when the other kids are outside, Shreya's excitement turns to fear. The moment she arrives, she knows something is wrong, and in that moment, she freezes.
The experience shatters her love of painting, leaving her feeling awful and unable to find the words to tell her mother why.
Her former rival, Mira, has also become Mr. Rao's new subject. But unlike Shreya, Mira yells "No!" and runs for help. Mira’s example gives Shreya the courage she needs to reclaim her voice and her love of art.
This crucial resource for families and book collections everywhere includes guidance and resources to help parents and children navigate this important topic.
A NOTE TO PARENTS FROM A SOCIAL WORKER
Access to unfiltered and real conversations around consent, safe touch, and body safety are essential to provide our children with information and tools that can protect them.
Stolen Colors highlights the misconception that childhood sexual abuse happens with only a stranger, when most cases occur with a trusted adult the child knows, someone who has built up consistent trust and rapport.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and a person who did not report it or share it with family members until twenty-plus years later, I can empathize with Shreya and the heavy feelings of sadness, shame, and fear. It was healing for me to see that her mother responded with compassion and, above all else, believed her.
I urge all family members to listen to and believe their child when they say something happened. It is not our job to be an investigator; our job is to love our children fiercely and treat them with compassion and respect. The bravery that it took Shreya to report what happened is something that should not be taken lightly. If you are a caregiver supporting someone who has been sexually abused, please offer validation of their hesitance, celebrate their courage, and actively seek community to help them in their healing process.
—Sarah Joyner, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW-S)
Ways to talk about consent, body safety, and sexual abuse at home
Model and discuss consent from a young age (e.g., "Can I give you a hug?").
Respect and model healthy boundaries, allowing your child to say no to physical touch.
Teach medically accurate vocabulary for private body parts.
Teach children vocabulary to describe how their bodies feel (e.g., "When I feel mad my body feels shaky like I want to yell."). Our bodies often communicate feelings before words can.
Teach children that safe adults would never make their body or mind feel unsafe.
If you notice significant changes in your child's behavior, sleep, food intake, hygiene, or mental health, and they are unwilling or unable to tell you what happened, seek immediate medical and/or mental health support. Trust your instincts.
Instead of direct questions like "Did someone touch you?," try "How does your mind and body feel before, during, and after seeing ____?" or "I've noticed you've been doing ____ more/less than usual; sometimes when scary things happen it can make us do things differently. Did something happen when you were with ____?"
Never put words in your child's mouth; let their story be theirs. Always tell your child with whom and why you have to share their story.
What to do if your child reports sexual abuse:
Offer compassion, respect, empathy, and safety.
Contact local authorities to make a report.
Use local resources like the emergency room or child advocacy centers for thorough examinations (STDs, pregnancy) and to access victim services and mental health support for your and your child's healing.
Acknowledge that healing is a lifelong journey. Lean on your community and support system to be a healthy support system for your child.
RESOURCES FOR ADULTS
CHILDHELP
Exists to meet the physical, emotional, educational, and spiritual needs of abused, neglected, and at-risk children. The organization’s efforts are focused on advocacy, intervention, treatment, prevention, family resilience, and community outreach.
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
Live chat: www.childhelphotline.org
CHILD WELFARE INFORMATION GATEWAY
A service of the Children’s Bureau within the Administration for Children and Families of the US Department of Health and Human Services. It provides publications, research, and learning tools selected by experts to support thriving children, youth, families, and communities.
DARKNESS TO LIGHT
Empowers adults to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through awareness, education, and the reduction of stigma.
RAINN
Operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673) and carries out programs to prevent sexual violence (such as child sexual abuse), help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice.
https://rainn.org/safety-parents
STOP IT NOW
Provides support, information, and resources to keep children safe and create healthier communities.
US DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE—THE OFFICE OF JUSTICE PROGRAMS
Provides resources and publications related to the prevention of and response to cases of child abuse.